iNtErRaCiAl fRiEnDsHiPs

“Those twins that are black and white but don’t know they are.” This was a quote that came from my former Rugby trainer. She said this in reference to my friendship with Franknee, one of my few best friends...who just so happens to be white. Frankie has been one of my college friends for about 4 years now. 

Growing up, as many of you know I’ve been to several predominantly white schools from the jump. I’m talking about schools where the percentages of African American students were low compared to any other enrolled race. So having these interracial friendships was bound to happen as nonchalant as that may sound. I won’t lie and say I haven’t had several close friendships with the other races not because I had to,  but because I chose to. To me personally, I never thought much of having these interracial friendships since it was oddly a norm to me and I just happened to be “friends” with several groups of people.

One question I was asked when suggested this topic was “how are your friendships different from each other whether it’s white, Hispanic, black friends or whoever?” I honestly never thought too much of it. I personally try not to look at race when deciding my friends or partners. Thinking about it now I can say some of them are different and rightfully so. You never want to have any friendship be the same. So when I am with the blacks friends, it’s different. One we all tend to naturally gravitate to each other. We understand the micro-aggressions we face. We are able to talk more about the past [our history], today’s racial injustices, music/shows, or just anything in mind without too many people getting offended. With my white friends, I find us talking and doing the normal things in a friendship minus the discussion of those topics some might find sensitive. It was never like any of us would go out of the way to start that conversation either. And with my Hispanic/mixed friends, it similar to my friendships with my white friends plus the occasional use of the n-word and that debate. A conversation that is often brought up by anyone. Overall, it’s sad to say, but race is often the most tiptoed conversation many aren’t ready to really divulge into. 

I enjoy the different relationships I have with the different races in my life. This is a chance for them and me to learn about each other’s backgrounds and just knowledge. I enjoy a friendship where I can learn and just be myself. One of the greatest things I got from Frankie and Abby is seeing them voice their opinion and repost what can in support of my people and the Black Lives Matter movement. Not saying our friendship isn’t enough. But it really made me feel I have them in my life for the right reasons and warms my heart that they care. It was great to see them not care about the aesthetic social media often brings and really open the door to the conversation if one of us ever really wanted to talk about it. I’m always open and hopefully, they know that by reading this. 

The downside to all this is race and the injustices that follow should never be a behind-closed-door conversation, but open for all. However, it did allow many people to evaluate the interracial friendships or relationships they have because we all saw those who cared, understand, and support us, while others were mute or against the cause.  It also sucks that it took this entire pandemic and the numerous killings of black African Americans to really get this ball rolling. Although some still don’t understand or get the anger we have, that shouldn’t and will not stop our fight! 

Overall, race is often the elephant in the room in many settings one being the relationships we have. And it’s honestly the little things that make friendships great. It’s also those little things that will make the friendship no matter the race more genuine. Both parties need to have a level of openness to these conversations that will make your friendship stronger and allow for an understanding. It’s the extra work that needs to be put in.

-TheeTaylorHill

PS: This blog was a little vague in some areas but I hope you all get what I was trying to say (HA)

PSS: My question for you is...How have the last few months opened your eyes to the friendships you have?