2020

...WHAT A YEAR!

Exactly what a year 2020 was. This was a year I was hopeful about. I came up with a few resolutions/goals that I was feeling strongly about; some included working on myself, saying “no” more, focusing on smaller goals like being more active, and this blog. Those all started well for me and allowed me to be more relaxed and content...until it wasn’t. This is simply because other things began picking up in my life. The main thing was getting my promotion to manager at my job where I spent the first few months working in different locations developing my skills in the new role. Alongside that, a major goal I set for myself was to focus on my mental health and just working on learning to put myself first and focus on stressing a little bit less. It started so well. I spent most of my off days doing some TLC. This included treating myself, hanging with friends a bit more, and self-care routines in form of spa days. Little things that would center me and allow a peace of mind. But ultimately this was unsuccessful for me. I grew tired and then the pandemic just added more tiredness.

Honestly, this year in its entirety was the most challenging mentally and physically for me. I felt this year almost broke me in more ways than one. I and most people around me consider myself to be an over-thinker that then turns into being overwhelmed or stressed. I agree. The overthinking was at an all-time high for me with this promotion. It also didn’t help being sent to different stores to work and find my strengths in each of those locations. By any means, am I complaining because it allowed me to take away some great tips and tricks. But throw a global pandemic into the mix and boom chaos! I would just overthink about the little things all the time. This would just turn into self-doubt and just bring my mood down...constantly. I felt this most at work. I learned work can often be a political game (one I wasn’t ready for at the moment). I learned people would do anything to get ahead and being the new fish in the pond wasn’t going to be easy. These feelings happened more than once. As time went on it would just read easily in my encounters with others. I was called standoffish or always seem irritated. But it really wasn’t the case. I would just be in my mind. And anyone who is an over-thinker will relate to this. Aside from the overthinking and self-doubt, I had several anxious restless nights with just living in the unknown. I shed a lot of tears this year due to just being anxious and mentally and physically exhausted. Like just last night my sisters mentioned they feel I never cry and I’m just like y’all have no idea what this year has done to me. I’m writing this blog, just drained from being active this entire year. When I say active, I mean no breaks, no real-time off, and just moving. 

These were just the things I was dealing with. I can imagine what some of you may have felt and/or gone through. 

Now let’s talk about the world...

This year has been the longest rollercoaster we all have been on. I strongly believe this pandemic affected all of us. Good or bad. Maybe even both. This world was essentially rocked. Mainly, due to this virus. People were panicking and trying to protect themselves. We have seen this mostly in essential businesses like supply stores and supermarkets. We had to implement rules we normally weren't practicing to maintain what would be our new norm. 

Overall, so much negative happened in the world, I don’t even know where to begin. I do want to start by saying I am truly sorry to everyone that suffered a loss due to this sudden pandemic. It breaks my heart, the number of people that we lost to just COVID alone; from loved ones, essential workers, and celebrities. The death rates were just too much for anyone. This includes all the deaths outside of Coronavirus as well. 

Police Brutality and civil unrest were impactful this year. Yes, it has been the last few years, but it does not change the fact, we are losing so many people due to senseless violence at the hands of cops, plus continue to see no justice or resolutions to these. This also continues to be an eye-opening experience. We saw many people's true sides when it comes to acknowledging right and wrong through race. To be positive if I can, we have seen more support and a sense of community through the protests and rallies. Also in the support of black-owned businesses, voting, and donations. 

Aside from all the downsides of 2020, we had some good. I feel it is important to highlight those.

Quarantine was another big adjustment this year. It gave us both good and bad. Quarantine proved to be a huge time distortion; both through dilation and compression. It allowed us to gain some control over this pandemic, by getting people to stay in, go out if necessary, and just lower the numbers. Not so much as I am typing this. Besides, I have seen much growth throughout all of this. Many people started businesses or started projects they have been really wanting to start. Creativity has definitely had a positive impact in 2020. It gave people the time to reflect and put pen to paper if you will. And while most of us had to quarantine, I wanted to remind people to remain grateful to those essential workers; from our frontlines to our supply chain retailers for being ready and available to serve our communities and world. They put their lives on the line just to keep everyone safe or prepared. Most of these essential workers are missing out on times with their families and loved ones. So please remain compassionate. 

Historically, we had a year of several firsts. One being this global pandemic outbreak (I should have a counter of how many times I said that in this post). But it's true, we haven't dealt with an outbreak to this caliber in a very long time. Outside of that, we see several African Americans take on historical high profile roles. We now are going to have Kamala Harris, our first black vice president come January. Not only is she of color, but a woman! Next, we saw Pope Francis name Wilton Gregory as America's first black cardinal in October. Lastly, we got rid of 45! I'll leave that at that, just given the hell he's brought upon us the last few years and just in the second week of the new year.

I do want to leave this on a positive note as we all wish and hope for a better 2021. "Hope is a launchpad. There is power in power forward. So keep your head up because after this year. Feel like we all need to rise up with our eyes up.” - DABABY

HERE IS TO 2021!  May it bring you and your family blessings and growth.

-TheeTaylorHill

PS: Your journey is yours to live and standby!